Audience

from Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller

"And then it all came together. It all became so obvious, it was actually frightening. Moses was explaining all of humanity, right there in Genesis chapter 3, and because people were always reading it looking for the formula, they never saw it.

"Here is what I think Moses was saying: Man is wired so he gets his glory (his security, his understanding of value, his feeling of purpose, his feeling of rightness with his Maker, his security for eternity) from God, and this relationship is so strong, and God's love is so pure, that Adam and Eve felt no insecurity at all, so much so that they walked around naked and didn't even realize they were naked. But when that relationship was broken, they knew it instantly. All of their glory, the glory that came from God, was gone. It wouldn't be unlike being in love and having somebody love you and then all of a sudden that person is gone, like a kid lost in the store. All of the insecurity rises the instant you realize you are alone. No insecurity was felt when the person who loved you was around, but in his absence, it instantly comes tot he surface. in this way, Adam and Eve were naked and weren't ashamed when God was around, but the second the relationship was broken, they realized it and were ashamed. And that is just the beginning.

"If man was wired so that something outside himself told him who he was, and if God's presence was giving him a feeling of fulfillment, then when that relationship was broken, man would be pining for other people to tell him that he was good, right, okay with the world, and eternally secure. As I wrote earlier, we all compare ourselves to others, and none of our emotions - like jealousy and envy and lust - could exist unless man was wired so that somebody else told him who he was, and that somebody else was gone."

...

"A child learns early there is a fashionable and an unfashionable in the world, an ugly and a pretty, a valued and an unvalued. Where this system comes from, God only knows, but it is rarely questioned, and though completely illogical and agreed upon by everyone as evil, it remains in play, commanding our emotions as something that comes naturally, as though a radioactive kind of tragedy happened, screwing up our souls. Adulterated or policed, the system can grow to something more civilized, but no less dominant as a drive of nature. In youth the system is obvious. If you want to learn the operating system to which humans are subjected, step into a classroom of preteen students and listen to the dialogue. You will hear the constant measurements, the talk about family wealth, whose father drives what car, who lives in what neighborhood, or who is dating whom.

"Here is how it feels: From the first day of school the conversation is the same as it would be if hundreds of students were told to stand in line ranging from best to worst, coolest to most uncool, each presenting their case for value, each presenting an offense to the cases of others, alliances being formed as caricatures of reality television (or vice versa).

"And here is what is terrible: There will be a sort of punishment being dealt to those at the end of the line, each person dealing out castigation as a way of dissociation from the geeks, driven by the fear that associating with somebody at the end of the line might cost them position, as if the two might be averaged, landing each of them in the space between. And so, in this way, students are constantly looking to associate themselves with those higher in line, and dissociate from those of low position. Great lengths will be taken to associate with those at the front of the line. Students will kiss up, drop names, lie about friendships  and so on. Many will hate the most popular and yet subject themselves to their approval s though they were small gods. But the great crime, the great tragedy, is not in the attempts to associate but rather the efforts to dissociate. If a person feels his space in the hierarchy is threatened, that he might lose position, the vehemence he feels toward the lesser person is nearly malevolent."

...

"It must have been wonderful to spend time with Christ, with Somebody who liked you, loved you, believed in you, and sought a closeness foreign to skin-bound man. A person would feel significant in His presence. After all, those who knew Christ personally went on to accomplish amazing feats, proving unwavering devotion. It must have been thrilling to look into the eyes of God and have Him look back and communicate that human beings, down to the individual, are of immense worth and beauty and worthy of intimacy with each other and the Godhead. Such an understanding fueled a lifetime of joy and emotional health among the disciples that neither crowds of people jeering insults  nor prison, nor torture, nor exclusion could undo. They were faithful to the end, even to their own deaths.

"I recently read an interview in which the Nobel Prize-winning novelist Toni Morrison was asked why she had become a great writer, what books she had read, what method she had used to structure her practice. She laughed and said, 'Oh, no, that is not why I am a great writer. I am a great writer because when I was a little girl and walked into a room where my father was sitting, his eyes would light up. That is why I am a great writer. That is why. There isn't any other reason.'"

...

"I would imagine, then, that the repentance we are called to is about choosing one audience over another."

He will still love you.

"we love because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19

Come, come, whoever you are
Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving - it doesn't matter,
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times,
Come, come again, come.

O to grace, how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be.
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Oh what a scandalous love God has shown us. "God is not proud. He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him." - C.S. Lewis

That the sinner, deep in his heart, should never love God of his own volition is a fact. We can never love God or love purity and goodness simply by willing ourselves to do so. We love to fool ourselves, thinking we can love well, thinking we can be good enough for Him on our own...but we will always fail.

Even when I began to follow Him, it was because I wanted Him to stop my pain, not because I wanted to be holy. I wanted to be liberated from depression and anger and loneliness, not from slavery to self.

And this is where His love comes in.

This is where He whispers, this is where He woos.

This is where He comes to us in our deepest fears, in our deepest heartache, when we are confronted with all the crooked places in our hearts, and asks, "Will you let me love you? Will you let me restore you? Will you let me call you my daughter?"

And though we say no, He will still ask a thousand times.
He is a constant lover, who never gives up.

Because He knows that death to self, true repentance and new life, is the only way we can get all the other things our hearts seek. It is the only way we can be truly free, truly alive. It is DIFFICULT, yes. But it is WORTH IT. So difficult, and so worth it, in fact, that He is the only one who can do it.

Gently, gently, we are led to repentance. We can never change by ourselves; if that were the demand, if we who love darkness were to FIRST genuinely love the light to receive it, who then could be saved?

No one.

And that's what makes His love so scandalous.

Ridiculous, even.

He was ridiculed on the cross, and He continues to be ridiculed today.

He doesn't care.

He doesn't love us AFTER we change...He loves us BEFORE.

He loves us while we still hate Him, while we're slandering Him, mocking Him, joking about Him in a bar and then crying to Him from our beds that same night.

He loves us in the middle of our hypocrisy, when we're confronted with the emptiness of our lives while knowing full well how we should be spending them.

He loves even the loveless places in our heart that would make everyone else hate us and turn away, were they to view them.

Even if you never surrender to His love your entire life and curse Him on your death bed, He will still love you.

Even if you turn away and follow your own will, your own way, and walk the wide path of destruction, He will still love you.

Even if you scream at him, angry about your life, about a friend's betrayal, about a tragedy in the family, about the atrocities committed to the helpless around the world,
He will still love you (and He will still love them).

And this love, it is not just a feeling
(though He does dance and sing over you, and angels rejoice because of you; like I said, He is not proud. He is not afraid to show His love).
True Love is not a feeling anyway.
He does not stand on high smiling warmly and thinking good thoughts about you, wishing you well. Prosperity! Happiness! Go in peace!

No.

He will not only lift a finger, He will lift mountains and turn the world upside down to rescue you.

He has hands and feet.

He has a Body.

And His power is beyond all imagining.
It can create planets, it can form humans, it can raise the dead, it can mend the heart, it can cause kings to fall, it can cast out demons, it can heal diseases, it can (will) restore this planet,
And it can change you.

Forever.

Oh, a forever love...isn't that what we all desire? If I could be loved forever, by the Only One who has power to even make my life worth living...what more could I need? What more could I ever want?

When your hair begins to turn gray, and you cry as you look at your deepening wrinkles in the mirror and feel how un-beautiful you are next to younger women,
He will still love you. Cherish you even. Call you beloved, the apple of his eye.

When you have been in a foreign country and haven't worn make-up in ages and feel too fat and too tall and too weird, or like you always have to hide from the stares and whistles that follow you everywhere,
He will still adore you.

When you return home and cry because you want to go back to that other country, because you left a piece of your heart there,
He will still love you.

When no one else understands your feelings or experiences,
He will still understand you.

When you are addicted to something and have tried everything in your own power to fight it, when you have deluded yourself about the magnitude of your own power and self-control,
He will still love you...and yes, even heal you.

When you run, He will pursue.

When you cry, He will hold.

When you scream, He will whisper.

When you are hurt, He will rise in power.

When you are lost, He will find.

Still. Still. Though you break your promise a thousand times, though you wander, though to all others you are a lost cause,
Still.

I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power 
through His spirit 
in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you,
being rooted and established in love,
will have power, together with all God's holy people,
to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the
fullness
of God.

The Gospel according to Esther

I've wanted to write so many "The Gospel according to..." posts and haven't gotten around to it. For instance, "The Gospel according to Exodus" is still in my drafts, and I never actually posted it. As I've been reading through the Bible chronologically, I've been seeing the gospel so much more clearly in each book. This past week, I read Esther.

Esther has been one of my favorite books for a long time. In my elementary school days, I loved that it was about an ordinary girl who becomes a queen. In high school, the phrase "Who knows but that you have been put where you are for just such a time as this?" kept ringing in my ears (adapted from Esther 4:14). As an English major in college, it appealed to my sense of a good story, and I still think it's one of the most well-written stories in the Bible.

But it wasn't until this most recent read-through that I caught a glimpse of Jesus in it.

Though it's been one of my favorite stories for so long, I had always read it as a standalone book and never placed it within the greater narrative of Israel's captivity and return. I definitely hadn't thought about it in the context of the gospel or any of the New Testament. I guess that's one of the great things about reading the Bible chronologically - it begins to all mesh together as one great big story, rather than a bunch of little ones stitched together.

I was struck by Mordecai's incredible integrity. He clearly is a man of God if there ever was one. He takes in the orphan Hadassah (Esther), not treating her as the cousin she is but treating her "as his own daughter" according to chapter 2. He saves the life of the (Persian by the way, not Jewish) king by getting a message to him about an assassination plot. Finally, and most importantly, he refuses to bow to any mere man, especially a corrupt royal official. And this is what gets him in trouble.

That royal official, Haman, does everything in his earthly power to ensure the annihilation of Mordecai and everyone he loves by getting the king to issue a decree that the Jews be killed on a certain day. But little does he know the kingdom's new queen is one of the very people he's trying to kill. Yahweh had ordained what was going to happen and had all the pieces in place ahead of time, ready to display His glory.

So after prayer and fasting, Queen Esther risks her life by going in to the king without being called. Thankfully, he is delighted with her and grants her request of holding a couple of banquets for him and Haman. Esther lulls Haman into a false sense of security with these banquets, as he thinks he is being oh-so-honored, but then Esther outs his whole plot in front of the king. The king then has Haman hanged on the gallows he had built for Mordecai...but not before forcing Haman to parade Mordecai, purple-robed and on a horse, through the streets saying, "This is the one the king delights to honor!"

Mordecai is elevated to a high position, the queen is trusted more than ever, and the Jews not only are saved but also enjoy a period of privilege under this foreign king.

As I thought about how Mordecai was plotted against for refusing to bow to any but God, how one of the most righteous men in the kingdom was targeted by a jealous and prideful official, I thought of Another who did nothing wrong and yet was condemned to death by those in power. I thought about how Mordecai never forsook God even when he probably felt forsaken, that his people had been forsaken. I thought about his commitment, his faith, even while his enemy Haman was being elevated, was succeeding in his evil plan, was indestructible...or so it seemed.

You see, just when Haman thought he'd won, he was destroyed. Just when the enemy seemed to have triumphed, the righteous one was about to gain the true victory.

Mordecai was saved from death, while Jesus actually suffered physical death...but the results were the same. Mordecai was honored above all in the kingdom, given authority second only to the king himself. In that dark moment as Jesus gasped his last words, satan thought he'd won, the teachers of the law thought they'd won. Little did they know that the seemingly defeated one on the cross was conquering not just their very own sin, but also Death itself. Little did they know that after he ascended, he would be placed at the right hand of the Father, given the seat of honor, crowned for all eternity. Little did they know that this one who quietly submitted to the judgment of the religious leaders and Pontius Pilate would judge everyone who has ever lived.

Hadassah, the orphan, one of the lowliest of people, was adopted by an uncle who loved her dearly and raised her as his own daughter. Not only an orphan, but a Jew in the Persian Empire, the odds for success were certainly not stacked in her favor. But because God bestowed grace on her, she found favor with everyone she met and was elevated higher than she could have ever imagined. She was obedient and brave when it counted most, demonstrating her dependence on God and not herself by fasting and praying before she went in to the king. When admonished by Mordecai, she listened, and she became willing to die if it meant God's will would be accomplished. She realized that the favor she had obtained was not due to her charm or beauty, though she possessed these things, but because the Lord Almighty had blessed her. And through his blessing, she was able to release an entire people from captivity and bring them from death to life.

To this day, like Esther, we are always the recipients of grace, and anything heroic or wonderful we do is by His power alone. We can never claim anything as our own, but we hold empty hands up to the Father in worship and praise, and He holds them in turn when we're in distress, pressing his scars closely into our unscarred palms, always filling them with good things. And these good things we can joyfully give to others, speaking life instead of death and truth instead of lies, bringing hope to the hopeless and proclaiming freedom for the prisoners...because we know His goodness never runs dry, and He will be faithful to give even as we feel like we can't give anymore.

The One with the scarred hands...He is not only the one the King delights to honor, as Mordecai was; He is the King. And we are Esther, adopted as sons and daughters, cherished, loved, admonished and corrected that we may grow into heavenly creatures, orphans-turned-heirs, made fit to possess the kingdom prepared for us since before the creation of the world.

Psalm 23.

What's a rod for, anyway?

What I Learned from Editing Wikipedia

Photo cred: Josephine Icaro

We're all doomed.

Okay, not really, although I really wouldn't wish on ANYONE to try to edit a Wikipedia page at all involving religion, politics or other controversial matters. It is dangerous territory.

It's like that time in my first-ever high school debate meet when I made the unfortunate mistake of calling the United States a "democracy," and the next girl got up and said "democratic republic" with a look so smug you would have thought she'd just won a case in the Supreme Court. Never mind that the word "democratic republic" had little to do with actually winning the debate. That's how I feel when editing Wikipedia. Everyone out there is that girl.

Information is an important, yet dangerous thing. It's why critical thinking skills are emphasized from the time we're tiny children all the way through college. You can't just take everything you read or hear at face value. Even "facts" can say different things, depending on the presenter's biases.

First, some background on why I attempted to edit a page in the first place. I am reading the Old Testament right now, namely the prophets. There are two idols these prophets are always raging against: Baal and Asherah. It's always, get rid of your Baals and tear down your Asherah poles, because Yahweh is angry. He's the one who's helped you people, so why do you go off running to other gods? In the Bible, both gods are imports from other nations.

Remember that famous story with Elijah? Okay, there are a lot of famous stories. In the one I'm thinking of, he was the only prophet of Yahweh left in the land, but he challenged 850 other prophets (450 of Baal and 400 of Asherah) to a duel of sorts. They both put sacrifices on altars and asked their gods to rain down fire from heaven to consume the sacrifices. The Asherah prophets aren't mentioned after, so maybe Elijah gathered them to just be an audience, but the Baal prophets go crazy and dance around and cut themselves and call on Baal, and he still doesn't answer. 450 of these guys, crying out for a few hours, and still no answer. But at Elijah's first request, even after drenching the wood and sacrifice with water, Yahweh rains down fire from heaven and consumes the whole thing. This is just one example of Asherah being clearly named as an idol, in the ranks of Baal, not at all related to or approved by Yahweh.

Asherah is mentioned many times in the Old Testament; if you search her name on Bible Gateway, she will show up approximately 40 times. And each time her name is mentioned, it is usually coupled with a command, like "Cut down your Asherah poles!"

I then looked up Asherah on Wikipedia to find out more about what kind of goddess she was. She was a Near East fertility goddess, check; she was imported to Israel from Canaan, check; she was the consort of El (another god who functioned as a sort of Yahweh in another nation), check; most scholars the world over now accept that she was Yahweh's consort - wait - what?

That contradicts everything I'm reading in the Bible.

Okay, you might be totally bored at this point, but bear with me. It's not just about information, but how information is presented. Read this:

"The majority of scholars the world over now accept that Yahweh had a consort...Further evidence includes the many female figurines unearthed in Israel, supporting the view that Asherah functioned as a goddess and consort of Yahweh and was worshiped as the Queen of Heaven."

First of all, there is a HUGE difference between the phrase "Yahweh had a consort" and the phrase "At one time, the Israelite people worshiped Asherah as Yahweh's consort." The first phrase necessitates that the Bible has been falsified (there is a theory floating around that Asherah was Israel's female goddess and was edited out of the Bible by chauvinist men). Since the Bible as it is now only refers to Asherah as an idol and not as God's wife, such a phrase as "Yahweh had a consort" would mean that the "editing" theory was definitely true. The second phrase (made up by yours truly) acknowledges that Asherah was worshiped as a goddess by most of Israel at one point (and the Bible already tells you that; it must have been pretty hard for Elijah being the ONLY Yahweh prophet left in the country in the above story!), but leaves room for the monotheistic Hebrew faith that we know by the famous phrase: "The Lord our God, the Lord is one."

Here is what the artifacts show and that the Bible corroborates, as far as I can tell: The Israelites worshiped Asherah, they had her buried with them, and she was known as "The Queen of Heaven" (this title is also acknowledged in the Bible, though as idolatry, and is one of the reasons Yahweh's wrath came down upon his people). Those things are true. One of the articles I read says that after the Israelites' exile to Babylon, which is what I'm reading about right now, is when their faith solidified (or re-solidified if you believe as I do that the Torah has not been edited) as monotheistic. And from the perspective of one who believes the Bible, I believe their faith became monotheistic because of all the prophets who had foreseen that Israel would go into exile under Yahweh's wrath, due to their continuous idolatry. Even after Elijah's miracles, it took exile to Babylon for them to see that Yahweh's prophets had been right all along, and that Yahweh was the one true God. Now, I don't expect people who don't rely on the Bible to trust that, but it definitely makes sense to me.

The problem is that when people spin true artifacts and evidence to suit their preconceived notions. And I don't just mean atheists. Christians do this too. It's a huge problem, and we have to let facts just stand as facts and theories stand as theories. It's like what Lee Strobel said at the beginning of The Case for Christ: The evidence may all line up and seem to point one direction, until you reexamine it closely and see that it points even more clearly in the opposite direction. We have to leave room for this and make sure that our biases don't infect our reading of historical data.

When I tried to edit part of the Wikipedia article to acknowledge that, though there many references to Asherah in the Bible, none of them are positive or acknowledge her as the genuine Queen of Heaven, someone immediately changed it back because of biblical citations (a controversial change-back given that the subject was the Hebrew people, though understandable). They also deleted my encyclopedic citation for undisclosed reasons. What's ironic, however, is that up above in the same article, someone referenced Jeremiah, and this reference has not been removed because it doesn't cast doubt upon the research of those who believe the Bible was edited.

I changed it again the other day, in such a way that I believe makes the article more neutral while still not contradicting what a source said. So far no one has touched it, but perhaps someone will have changed it back by the time you read this. If you have a Wikipedia account, read the talk page for Asherah, and you will see that I am not the first person to take issue with the unequivocal phrasing that "Yahweh had a consort." And some of those people express their reasons better than I have here.

All that to say, this is what I learned, or re-learned: Don't take everything you read at face value. Realize that people can phrase factual findings to support any conclusions they want to support. This includes even what I'm writing here. When you read something that troubles you or casts doubt, look into that claim. If you are a Christian, read the Bible and know that Book like the back of your hand. Then, even though you can't convince anyone else of anything, you can at least stand your own ground and know why you believe what you do.

Okay, that's enough. As important as this stuff is to realize, I'd rather be out learning how to live more like Jesus than writing things like this.

Nothing New Under the Sun and Micah 6

If the wages of sin is death, what exactly is death?

Futility.

It's the abrupt ending of a linear path that otherwise shows such promise of progress, of a better world, of a better life -

and then silence.

Because of sin, the whole creation was subjected to futility. Through painful toil we eat all the days of our lives, and though we labor, the ground still produces thorns and thistles. In painful toil we now strive for successful careers in an economy that constantly pushes back. The majority of people, who have no faces on television and no voices, toil to just eat each day. The last line of the curse upon mankind is futility:

"dust you are and to dust you will return."

King Solomon meditates on this futility: "Meaningless! Meaningless! What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun? ...Like the fool, the wise too must die!"

When Israel continues to rebel against God and oppress the poor, Yahweh says through the prophet Micah that he will relinquish his blessing, reminding them of the futility of their sin (that is, following themselves rather than God):

"You will eat but not be satisfied; your stomach will still be empty.... You will plant but not harvest; you will press grapes but not use the oil, you will crush grapes but not drink the wine."

Your first reaction might be that all this sounds overly morbid and depressing...but let's be honest: How many times have you had thoughts like this? Feeling anxious because we only have a few short years on this earth, and wondering how not to waste them? Feeling dissatisfied with your current life because you don't want to waste time doing what you're doing? Even in the happy moments, burying uneasy thoughts, wondering why you're still not satisfied?

I write this because I have had these thoughts many times. I think often we try to just dismiss them and crush them because they're not normal and not okay. We have everything; we are supposed to just be happy and not ask those questions. We have no right to be unhappy because we are not starving, we have not had too much trauma in our lives, we do not live in a war-torn country.

The Book of Micah says that Israel would "eat but not be satisfied." Israel had times of great abundance and was the envy of surrounding nations for its wealth. But God said they were still spiritually empty because they kept sinning and would not turn from it, and so he was sending times of scarcity on them. Rather than acting justly and loving mercy, they were hoarding ill-gotten treasures, cheating the poor with dishonest scales, full of violence and deceit.

What was the ultimate punishment? Not necessarily war, although this did come on the people. Not poverty, although times of suffering would follow. Futility. No satisfaction, no enjoying the fruit of their labor, but enduring a meaningless existence. The same punishment that was exacted at the Fall.

I think we continue to feel this punishment today; the Fall's depth has not lessened. Though we may be less primitive, we may have more material things (well, some of us...until you remember that 2 billion don't even have a toilet and 1 billion will not eat enough today), and we may be saturated with all sorts of information and philosophies to tell us whatever we want to hear, we still feel the effects of futility. Though with modern medicine we may prolong our lives, we can never escape physical death...or even worse, the death of the soul, which can happen much sooner.

But Jesus says we can be born again. He says we have a way out of this meaninglessness and futility. Not by transcending the world and detaching ourselves from it, as some would say; not by doing a bunch of things so we can be "good enough" for a deity; rather, by believing He has power over futility - over death and our deathly ways of living. In Him, there is something new under the sun. We have new life, we have new hope, we have direction even when we can't see two feet in front of us. Even while staying in the world, slogging through the mud and grit of life, we hold tightly to the pierced hand of the one who whispers in the crowded street and the back alley,

Behold, I am making all things new!

Suddenly, we can work a dead-end job and still have joy and satisfaction. Suddenly, we can look at unlovable people and see who they were born to be. We can be uncertain of our direction in life and still be able to laugh at the days to come. Our plans can even fail, the soil of our lives still unyielding, and yet we have hope. All because He went through the worst of our pain, endured our darkest thoughts and all the insults we have to hurl, joined us in physical agony and emotional torment, and came out victorious on the other side, not only alive but with a life that will never die, in a Kingdom where the hungry can feast and the thirsty can drink, and this gives us hope that such a Kingdom can penetrate this cursed world. 

Sometimes, when I catch myself chasing after the things of this world, I find myself dissatisfied and struck anew with the meaninglessness of life. But when I look at the only One who is something new under the sun, the only One who can make all things new, and I give my disobedience over to him and ask to be made new...

I eat and am satisfied.

Becky's Top 5 Funny Bible Verses

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Sometimes when I am reading the Bible to gain wisdom, insight, conviction, etc., I also gain some laughter. Here are a few verses that crack me up, in no particular order.

1. Proverbs 25:16

If you find honey, eat just enough--too much of it, and you will vomit.


Actually, it's funnier in the King James version: 
Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it.


Wise words, wise words.

2. Proverbs 27:14

If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.


Yes. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement.

3. Proverbs 25:17

Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house--too much of you, and he will hate you.


'Nuff said.

4. Numbers 22:30

The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?" "No," he said.


("No?" That's it? I would've jumped off that donkey and been like OMG A TALKING DONKEY!!!)

Again, funnier in King James:

And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.

And he said, Nay. That's funny just by itself. 

Especially since he's talking to a donkey and not a horse...I mean, come on. It should be "And he said, Bray."

5. Acts 2:15

This one needs some background info. So after the Holy Spirit makes it raaaaain (fire, that is), the apostles start speaking in a bunch of different languages they don't know in front of tons of people. Crazy stuff. Since everyone in the crowd knows these aren't ridiculously educated men who just happen to know every language in the known world, they say, "They have had too much wine!" in 2:13. (Seriously, get me some of that wine if it can make me talk in a language I don't know...it would be a lot of help while living overseas!) Peter, of course, gets up and corrects them, but in what way? Does he give a sermon on the sinfulness of being drunk? Does he get offended at the thought that such holy men of God could possibly be drunk? Here's how he reasons: 

"These men are not drunk... It's only nine in the morning!"

Can't argue with that.

Honorable Mention

Another one that didn't make the top five but that is definitely an honorable mention is Acts 20:9, in which  Paul rambles on for so long that a young guy named Eutychus actually falls asleep on the windowsill and then falls out and dies. Don't worry, Paul raises him back to life afterwards. No big deal. But parents who really don't want their kids to fall asleep in church should definitely read them this for a bedtime story!

When I Saw the Throne

When I finally saw the throne and the One on it, I stared for about a thousand years. There's no telling, really, and I don't care how long it was, only that my soul was full and my heart was light. The awe took many forms. Sometimes I laughed and lifted my hands with joy, sometimes I lay flat on the floor and let his power roll over me in waves. Sometimes, though, he withheld his great power and instead washed me with love like thin water and white foam trickling over my outstretched body on a sandy beach, gently rinsing my former self away, never to be seen again. Sometimes it took the form of a breeze rippling over my skin and blowing wisps of hair out of my face as though I were lying in soft grass on a sunny day. Sometimes I danced and sang before him, and his approval felt better than the roar of a thundering crowd. He took such great delight in my songs. Never judging, always delighting.

I could have basked there for an endless river of eternities, soaking in the glory and fullness of the One on that throne, but I walked down the shining road to see my other loved ones. Unlike that broken place I had journeyed through for those few short years, I had many loved ones here - millions, in fact. And we finally knew what love was. Our hearts were all one and pounding with such passion and adoration that the power generated could create universes - in fact, it might have. I knew the One on the throne was always creating things, because creating, whether with wisdom or hands, brought him such great delight.

I could no longer really remember that former place, but I knew without a doubt that no love there had been like this. Any of its love had been only a shadow of what was to come. Millions of souls, countless heavenly beings, colors heretofore unknown and an endless chorus of languages and voices...all in perfect unity with each other and the King. Oh, the King...he was what held us all together. I could sing about him forever, in an endless number of languages, and never come close to how good he really is. I never knew before that the planets and the stars also had voices, that the whole universe had been quivering with joy before the One on the throne. The worries of the old earth had deafened so many souls, but here we finally had ears. If only I'd known how good he really was when I walked through that shadowy place for those few short years, if only I could have heard the praises the trees and waters and stars were singing each day...I'd have laughed through every storm.

Even those who were never married on earth were married now, and knew the joy of being the most beloved and beautiful Bride...together we felt what it was to be invited into - no, swept up in - that strong, passionate, joyful heart, and the glorious thrill of pleasure when the door was opened to his fierce love and to his never-ending feast. I thought I had been a bride on earth, but I had never been dressed in white until now. Oh the unspeakable joy of heaven standing open! Of its gates not being closed to me! I knew what I had been...I saw, momentarily, the fate I had deserved, and dark hands clutching at my soul...but the instant I had begun to fear, a curtain of blood had streamed down in front of me, and the hands could not penetrate it. Then the curtain had wrapped itself around me, swaddled me like a baby's clothes...and yet its blood did not stain. This was the only blood I had ever seen that made me whiter at its touch, that did not stain my hands with guilt but rather sponged that guilt away until I shone like a star. I saw Christ's blood streaming in the firmament...and yet, rather than leaving me groping helplessly for the drops, jumping up and down like a madman, the drops rained down and met me.


Then, that same red curtain curtain parted to reveal a shining white horse with a rider called Faithful and True. As soon as I saw his eyes...as soon as I saw his eyes I knew that I was pursued with a longing and desire more jealous than the grave and more passionate than my deepest affections. Faithful and True pulled me up and we rode away so that the pit with the clutching hands was no longer in sight. Its arms will forever be too short to overcome the Rider's jealous love. Once I saw his deep, penetrating eyes and his strong shoulders I could think of nothing else. The indescribable joy of being fully known and yet fully loved! Never tinged with a fear of being abandoned, because his very Name was Faithful. What had that shadowy place known of faithful? What had I ever known of faithful?

Yet deep in my heart, even in my darkest moments, I'd always known this must be true. This must be the truth; that shadowy place was the lie. And now that I could see it, now that I could fully know Him as I'd always been fully known, now that I could see and touch his face, I knew without a doubt that I would never see a shadow again. Forever, my vision would be clear. And forever, truth would reign because the deceiver of the nations was finally destroyed.

Some may have said this vision wasn't real, that the ways of the shadowy place were unchanging; but here with the only Unchanging One I finally saw the wolf graze with the lamb, and I saw the lion rest in their company. Here I saw the man feed the ox but never put a burden on its back, except occasionally a small laughing child who loved that now-burdenless beast. The children who had always wondered what a lion's wondrous mane would feel like finally got to touch and stroke it without fear, and the lion nuzzled them like one of its cubs. Both animals and humans had stopped preying on each other...and somehow I'd always known this was how things were supposed to be, that this was right and good.

The One on the throne had grieved over that shadowy place. Oh, how he'd grieved over all the lives that were wasted because they had no food, or had no one to love them. So many had been deceived and given up their birthrights as heirs to creation and the glorious honor of creating. So many others been robbed of their creative breath by disease or hunger. How many of us had given up our mantles as image-bearers and fallen into destruction or apathy. But here I saw those who had been deceived into being men of brutality plowing soil and picking fruit; I saw those who had fearfully destroyed other men laughing and dancing with children; I saw those who had annihilated the old earth tending and delighting in the new one. I saw children who'd died for lack of water splashing around in the everlasting spring and rafting down the crystal river, where anyone could come and drink without cost.

The One on the throne now lived with us and within us; there was no separation. The hand of the Father and the hands of earth, which had been reaching for each other for so long, had not only touched but become one. The desire of every heart was filled, and every chasm was closed. It was the land of no horizon.

The King's eyes surveyed this new earth and sparkled with joy. It was very, very good.



The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let the one who hears say, "Come!" Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.

Chronicling, Commanding and Condoning

I've seen this image floating around on websites like Facebook and Pinterest.

The point I believe it's trying to make is that, first of all, gay marriage shouldn't be wrong because it's a lot better than some other marriages cited in the Bible, and second of all, that "traditional marriage" isn't even necessarily one man and one woman. Yes, I understand that it's a joke. But I also understand that it could give rise to some big problems.

In the process of getting its point across, it suggests harmful half-truths. There is a lot of damage being done because people are seeing this graphic who have not read the Bible, and they are now thinking that the Bible is a backwards, outdated book no one should take seriously today (actually, this is probably just reinforcing previous conceptions). Graphics like this give people an excuse to write off the Bible (not just write off, but downright hate it) and doubt its relevance. This graphic does not allow for the complexity and the massive time span of the book, which is unlike any other in the world as far as the sheer number of writers and the incredible span of time and cultures.

Because I'm reading through the Bible chronologically, I just finished reading probably the most "shocking" books in the Bible, and they all appear on this graphic: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy (also Judges, which does not appear on this graphic but is also a pretty rough book to read). So this stuff's all pretty fresh in my memory.

First of all, let me say that I'm not writing this as someone who's just trying to raise a defense for my own point of view. I will be honest and say up front that there are some things in the Bible that I don't understand, and that at this point in time am not qualified to explain. But I also feel that I have to stand up for the whole truth, and I'd like to think that I would uphold this principle even if it meant fighting for someone who does not share my point of view.

Some fundamental truths to understand about the Bible: Much of it is comprised of stories that are not necessarily meant to be parables, or to be emulated in any way, but rather to be historical accounts of events that occurred. In fact, there are two books that most people find very boring - 1 Chronicles and 2 Chronicles - that really are just lists of who was whose son and how long each guy lived. Just because something is chronicled in the Bible does not mean that God condoned it or commanded it, or that it's an example for our behavior.

Another fundamental truth: God is holy, and His standard of justice is higher than ours. Even as a Christian, this is one aspect that I often find difficult to understand or even agree with on my own. As a human, my way seems right to me, but in reality, God alone is the judge (Proverbs 21:2). So sometimes the things God condones or commands may seem very harsh, especially in the older books of the Bible, but these instances underline the fact that God hates wrongdoing much more than we do. But in the same way, He loves goodness and truth much more than we do.

The Bible does chronicle that many men had several wives and/or concubines in the old times, even men who were counted righteous before God and otherwise served him with all their hearts. However, nowhere does God command or commend this behavior. In fact, Deuteronomy 17:17 even says that kings should not have multiple wives. Other than that, old books of the Bible are not didactic about this matter. Nevertheless, anyone who studies the Old Testament cannot help but come away with the knowledge that having multiple wives causes problems. (Who'd have thought, right?) Just look at the relationship struggles of Abraham, Jacob, and David, for starters. Seriously, what a headache.

The "wives subordinate to their husbands" phrase does not do justice to the Hebrew ezer kenegdo, which means something like a helper who comes alongside. This is the term God used to describe woman at the beginning. Other than woman, guess who the phrase usually refers to when it's used in the Old Testament? God. The phrase does not refer to a servant to be trampled upon, but rather help that comes from above, a kind of rescue in times of trouble. Granted, at the Fall, God said that the husband would rule over the wife, but this is a result of sin twisting the way we relate to each other; this is not the way God wants relationships between husbands and wives to be. Later, in the New Testament, we are told that a godly husband's leadership should take the form of Christlike love and sacrifice. I could go more deeply on this subject, but there are entire books that do that. As for interfaith marriages, they are forbidden for the people's own good, because God wants us to be of one heart and mind rather than having strife and distance in marriage. Also, arranged marriages were the rule for hundreds of years across cultures, and still are in many. This practice was definitely not confined to the Bible, and I would argue it is not inherently bad but can be twisted by sin, like everything else.

God's commands are probably the most difficult issues to wrestle with here. Some of them are much easier to understand within context. For instance, the law about a brother-in-law marrying his brother's widow was actually of benefit to the woman in that time period. As many stories in the Old Testament reveal, having a child, especially a son, was considered vital. A woman often would agonize until she had been blessed in that way (Rachel and Leah even used having children as a kind of one-upmanship). Most women must have seen this law as a way to ensure their happiness. Hardly any would have dreamed of saying, "What?! I'm being forced to marry my brother-in-law since my first husband died and left me without a son?!" They just wouldn't have seen it that way. They would have rejoiced that they still had a chance to have a son.

Another law that makes sense within the culture is that of a rape victim marrying her rapist. Again, this is definitely not God's ideal marriage. Nevertheless, this law was given to protect the woman. I just got done watching Pride and Prejudice. The situation with Lydia in that movie is a little bit different because, of course, she loves Mr. Wickham and deliberately runs away with him. But the principle is similar. Had Lydia parted from Mr. Wickham without getting married, she would have been seen as "tarnished forever" in Victorian culture. Her only chance for marriage and children, and therefore "happiness" for her in that time period, was with this man. Free him from his obligation to marry her, and the woman will hardly rejoice in either culture. In fact, this Old Testament law could be seen as much better than what happened in Lydia's situation. Mr. Wickham had to be secretly bought off in order to marry her, whereas the Old Testament law commands that the man who has done such a thing pay restitution.

But then there are other commands that seem shocking even given the historical context. Moses commanding that every Midianite be killed seems horrific, as well as his commanding that the soldiers take the unmarried women for themselves. However, the book of Judges sheds a little light on this situation. In Judges, God also commands that the Israelites kill every single person in the places they are overtaking, without mercy. But this time, they do not obey. And by the end of Judges, the things that are happening in Israel are so depraved that even the reader almost wants God to smite the people off the face of the earth. The Israelites are completely corrupted by the people they let survive. Again, the Bible isn't didactic about this. It doesn't say, "Now see kids, if the Benjamites had just obeyed...." No. The book relates the monstrous things that are happening, the twisted moral code, the unthinkable ways people are treating each other, and simply says repeatedly, "In those days Israel had no king; every man did as he saw fit." So even though God's standard of justice might seem too harsh much of the time, we discover that it is necessary because of human depravity.

God does command that a woman be stoned who is found to not be a virgin when she is married, but this is in line with all the rest of his commands on adultery and many other sins, which generally demand death. The fact is, the penalty for sin has always been death, according to the Bible. When Jesus came and fulfilled all the requirements of the law by his death, our obedience to God took a different form, but the principle remains the same. I can only receive mercy because Jesus took my judgment, not because God lowered his standard of justice. I deserve death and am spiritually dead in my sin (and in most countries, including the United States and especially my beloved Texas, can easily be put to physical death for my sin), and I cannot stand before a holy God. The only way to the life abundant here as well as life eternal is to be covered by the sacrifice of Jesus. Again, this is not my standard of justice. Mine is much lower. But then again, I am not God. I did not watch as my beautiful creation that I had breathed into existence and carefully crafted into perfection welcomed death and destruction with open arms. I did not watch as my creations began murdering each other, began raping each other, began stealing from each other. I am not qualified to be the ultimate Judge.

I know these explanations will not settle all the issues brought up by the graphic, nor will they persuade people to agree with the biblical point of view who don't already, but hopefully they at least shed some light on what is really written and the meaning behind it.

Love,
Your fellow truthseeker

Elephants and Termites

Two lifelong friends sit at their favorite restaurant, discussing their day, their work, and their kids. These women have so much in common – the same worldview, the same church, the same hobbies (they always go play tennis while their husbands golf together on the weekends). They have the kind of friendship in which one can confide anything to the other and know that her secret will be safe. They’ve helped each other through family losses, emotional battles, countless tears and joys…nothing can tear them apart.

And then it happens.

One woman says, “I just can’t wait for Halloween! I’m having so much fun helping Jenny look for her Hermione Granger costume.”

The other woman bristles a little on the inside. How can her beloved friend not realize the origins of Harry Potter and Halloween? Why is she exposing her child to such things?

“Oh…well, our family doesn’t believe in celebrating Halloween. And we don’t allow our kids to read Harry Potter.”

Silence. Tension. Judgment on both sides. (How can she take the fun of Halloween away from her kids? And Harry Potter has so many Christian themes!) All of a sudden a wall comes between them.

Between women who have helped each other through near-divorces, through crises of faith, through the loss of one parent to suicide, another to a car accident.

I heard the phrase “It’s not the elephants that will get you, but the termites” a while back. In context, it’s saying that it’s the day-to-day troubles that will wear on you, rather than the catastrophes. But I think we can also apply this to our relationships, and it’s no different among believers. We split over the small stuff.

Two people may agree that trusting Jesus bridges the gap between us and God. They may agree that we have an obligation and privilege to always help out our fellow man, even if it means trouble and sacrifice for us. They may agree that human life is always sacred, even if the person doesn’t “deserve” to live, or even if the life hasn’t appeared yet. They may agree that family is a precious treasure that should be preserved at all costs. They may agree that educating people and then giving them a choice is better than just telling them what to do.

But then one drinks a glass of wine, or the other doesn't allow her kids to watch a certain movie, and the friendship is permanently strained.

It’s amazing how angry we get, how emotional we get, over the things that don’t matter in the long run. And everyone has a valid point. Many conclusions can be arrived at logically, and everyone can poke holes in everyone’s arguments and find Scriptural evidence for both stances.

Paul had a similar situation going on in his baby church in Corinth. Some people had come from backgrounds of worshipping other gods and taking part in their rituals and feasts. Now that they were Christians, they had a huge problem with continuing to eat that food because it reminded them of their past (a valid point). Therefore, they condemned other Christians who ate food that had been sacrificed to these gods, saying that they were sinning. These other Christians responded that all food is God's food, so why does it matter? (also a valid point) Here is how Paul responds in 1 Corinthians 8:1-9:

“Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know; but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.

"Therefore concerning the eating of things sacrificed to idols, we know that there is no such thing as an idol in the world, and that there is no God but one. For even if there are so-called gods whether in heaven or on earth, as indeed there are many gods and many lords, yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.

"However not all men have this knowledge; but some, being accustomed to the idol until now, eat food as if it were sacrificed to an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled. But food will not commend us to God; we are neither the worse if we do not eat, nor the better if we do eat. But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block….”

These people in Corinth are squabbling over termites. Paul brings them back to the elephants, the things that really matter. The important thing is that we know and love the Father, and that He knows and loves us. Whether we do this thing or we do not, we agree that there is one true God, we agree that He alone created everything, and that we exist and live our lives for Him alone. As for this lesser thing, no one’s choices make him better than his friend. However, make sure to love each other in everything, and don’t do or say something in front of your friend if you know it’s going to hurt him.

So next time your friend disagrees with you about a termite issue, your first reaction may be to bristle, and that’s normal…it’s human nature. But remember what Paul says in 1 Corinthians, remember the elephants you do agree on, and respect your friend’s motivation that led to his or her decision. To love and honor God. To love and honor others. And love edifies.

Up on a Mountainside

I've been memorizing the Beatitudes lately, which has been beautiful. As Oswald Chambers said, we must take the Beatitudes seriously. We can't walk away from them thinking, "Oh, what a bunch of nice thoughts." The pure in heart really will see God. In Jesus, all those who mourn will be comforted. Those who hunger for righteousness will be fulfilled (a thought that is echoed in Matthew 6:33). But as we marvel over and contemplate the things Jesus said, it is easy to forget the importance of what he did before he taught a single thing.

He went up on a mountainside.

He got alone with the Father.

Matthew 5 doesn't actually start with "Blessed are...." It starts with Jesus fleeing the crowds so he can be with the Father: "Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down." By this point in his ministry, Jesus had swarms of people chasing after him, longing to see more miracles and hear more words of wisdom. Many popular preachers today hunger for these crowds and bask in their approval, but Jesus did not do anything for the approval of man. Not only this, but he realized that he could not keep spending himself and spending himself without taking that quiet time up on a mountainside.

If even Jesus felt that desperate longing to be alone and spend such sweet time with the Father before he taught his disciples, who are we to think we can get by without it?

More importantly, and cutting at the heart issue, why do we want  to get by without it?

Far too often I measure my success and worth by the response of other people to me, not the response of God to me. I, though nothing but dust, spend most of my time seeking the approval of other dust...but all of us will be swept away. The fellowship of God is eternal, and it is more intimate than I could ever know with a person.

I have been learning lately just how precious this intimacy is. I love people, but sometimes I get this feeling that "many words are meaningless" and instead I just want to "stand in awe of God" (Ecclesiastes 5:7). I've found lately that I absolutely cannot love people well and live the day well if I don't allow myself to have this time away with him. It doesn't even have to have a particular purpose; I don't need to be seeking anything; I just want to be with the lover of my soul. Like the disciples, I want to climb the mountainside and find Jesus so we can just spend time with each other, alone, away from the crowds. Away from the calculating eyes of people, and alone with him where my soul can breathe and where he can teach me.

Find your mountainside.

He calls us by name.

"But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And he who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine." Isaiah 43:1-2

I was reminded the other day just how powerful it is to insert our own names in Bible passages. He knows your name, He knows every detail of your body and how it works, and even crazier, He knows every little corner of your mind - what makes you happy or sad, what brings you peace or unrest. But I think sometimes it's easy to forget that He has reached down and specifically called us, or that He specifically speaks to us, not only to his general creation. Sometimes by putting our own names in Bible verses, it can increase the intimacy of comforting words of the Lord, and it can also increase the conviction of corrective words of the Lord.

A couple of passages that have struck me:

"For God knew Becky in advance, and he chose her to become like his Son, so that his Son would have her as a sister. Having chosen Becky, he called her to come to him. He gave Becky right standing with himself and promised her his glory... If God is for Becky, who can ever be against her? Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for Becky, won't God...also give her everything else?" Romans 8:29-32

Sometimes I forget that God chose me. He invited, yes, but He also came after me. He rescued me. And I forget that God is literally a shield standing between me and anything that might try to hurt me without His permission. And Jesus gave his life for me, so that I might in turn lose mine and trade it in for something far better.

"If Becky speaks in the tongues of men or of angels, but has not love, she is only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If Becky has the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if she has a faith that can move mountains, but does not have love, she is nothing. If she gives all she possesses to the poor and gives her body over to hardship that she may boast, but does not have love, she gains nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

If you wanted to get even more convicting with that second passage, you could challenge yourself this way. In the part that reads "Love is patient, love is kind...," instead insert your name: "____is patient, ____ is kind..." etc., and then honestly read it and ask yourself which of those statements makes you cringe the most because it is just that untrue. I've done it a couple of times, and each time God shows me some aspect of love that I need to work on. For instance, this is passage, along with the book of James, is how God first showed me I needed to work on "easily angered!"

Why don't you give this a try today in your time with God? Let God show you a passage and allow him to personalize it for you. Let him speak to you by name.

"An Unlikely Route to Joy"

from Jackie Kendall's blog

July Hope Alert

Whenever I have read about deportation (person or persons expelled from their homes or country), I would never consider it to be a good thing. This morning I was reading about the deportation of two particular Jews, Aquila and Priscilla. Claudius Caesar had first ruled that the Jews were not allowed to have "meetings" and then he decided to expel them from Rome. So being deported from their home and country, Aquila and Priscilla end up in Corinth. Little did these two tentmakers know that their expulsion was "an unlikely route to joy." They not only had Paul the Apostle as a part time tentmaker with them; they were also invited to be part of the Traveling Gospel Team.

"Then Paul left Athens and went to Corinth. There he became acquainted with a Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, who had recently arrived from Italy with his wife, Priscilla. They had left Italy when Claudius Caesar deported all Jews from Rome. Paul lived and worked with them, for they were tentmakers just as he was."(Acts 18:1-3)

Oh that we as God's kids would have the attitude that our "deportations" from what we love: hometown, job, church, or friends, are chances for us to see God's brilliant maneuvering of our lives into a place where He will receive even more glory. Rather than resisting change or resenting the upheaval of your life, why not look forward to seeing who or what God may bring into your life walk during your expulsion from your comfort zone. When Aquila and Priscilla were packing up there life because of a "cruel expulsion," they had no idea, apart from God's faithfulness, what lay ahead during their forced relocation.

Trusting God with "deportation" from comfort and security is a chance for making the canyon of pain into a megaphone to proclaim the ultimate goodness of God."

I have been reading the Bible for 44 years and I have always admired the "tag team" of Aquila and Priscilla. Not until this morning did I realize that through an "evil deportation" God brought such good into their lives. Aquila and Priscilla deportation reminds us again to keep whatever comes into our lives in the "context" of God's ever present capacity to take what is intended for evil and bring about good (Gen.50:20).

Wake Up.

"Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Ephesians 5:14

I have been meditating on this verse for a long time. Thankfully, it is not just a command to us; it is also a promise for others:

"Your dead shall live; their bodies shall rise. You who dwell in the dust, awake and sing for joy!" Isaiah 26:19

Jesus has awakened me, and I am thankful. But I want the other dead to live as well, to wake up and embrace the lives they have been given rather than live in fear. Why do we have so many dead people walking around?

How many people I know who have resigned themselves to occupations they don't like, to hating work and then drinking alcohol to forget work and then drinking coffee in the morning to stay alive for work. Students hate school and yet let it master them, being anxious and jealous, never feeling smart enough or good enough, and putting down fellow students to make themselves feel better. Americans eat well, drink well, and work hard, and yet are starving.

What is wrong with us? Have we no hope? We only have 80-something years to live if we're lucky, and we're spending it like this? And all too often, if we do quit school and go off to "find ourselves" or "truly live," we only end up in poverty, drinking all the time to forget our actual lives. Why are we so dead, and how do we resurrect ourselves?

I thought about how to best sum this up. Of course, Jesus is the one who conquered death, who raises us from the dead, and who will grant us eternal and abundant life. But what is it about Jesus that makes his promises so eternal and steadfast? Faith, Hope, and Love. It's no coincidence that "faith, hope, and love abide (1 Corinthians 13:13)." What does "abide" mean? It can also be translated as "remain" or "will last forever." Haha! I think we have found our definition of LIFE! We need to put ourselves in situations where faith is necessary, hope is possible, and love is a choice. Life must be so uncertain that we have to live by faith. We must be working so much for change that we allow ourselves to hope again. And we must surround ourselves with people we choose to love, not people we are genetically predisposed to love or people who are exactly like us. This is how to come alive.

We'll just take a hypothetical person. She graduated in the top 10% and now studies at UT, where she feels mediocre because she is no longer "the smart girl" in class. She's only average here. So she joins a sorority trying to find belonging and meaning, but instead only feels more insecure as she tries to fit the mold of a beautiful, successful, intelligent, "all-around" kind of girl. She is enslaved to comparing herself to others. Then she graduates to work in a PR firm, where she still fails to find meaning because she spends her day helping a corrupt client gloss over its human rights violations. At the end of the day she goes out for drinks with her girlfriends, laughing unnaturally, telling herself she is living the good life but wishing she could meet just one decent guy at these bars she frequents who won't just abandon her. She's too scared to leave the country or to even talk to people who are different from her (not to mention her friends would think she is weird). And she wonders...is this the American Dream?

Let's take that same girl and instill her with faith, hope, and love. Going to UT is still really hard, and she fights the urge to feel that she's worth nothing compared to the many successful friends she's made. But rather than giving into the temptation of self-hatred, she decides to have faith that she has a purpose here and hope that she will fulfill it. She realizes that she can study her hardest and there will still always be people who seem more intelligent than her...but then, when she looks at Jesus and at what He values instead of what the world values, she begins to look at her hands rather than her body or even brain. She puts these hands to use loving people, using her communications skills to teach English to refugee families and hanging out with unloved people on the streets. She finds peace with who she is, and therefore continues to have peace when she graduates and looks toward her uncertain future in a struggling job market. Although she ends up waiting a while to find a job and endures many moments of feeling she has failed her parents, God, and herself, she eventually begins doing PR work for a local nonprofit that helps the homeless. She still hasn't found the love of her life or, for that matter, her dream job, but is resting in God's promises and learning that his love is more than enough. She is now studying a foreign language and dreams of ending poverty in that area of the world.

Is her life any easier? Not by a long shot. But is it more abundant? Does it have eternal significance? You bet. The first version of this girl was deadened and saddened, while the second version was awakened to her true calling and purpose.

What's sad is, some of you will read this and then go away thinking it doesn't apply to you. "Well, I AM one of the few who is called to be rich and comfortable" or "That sounds nice, but being idealistic gets you nowhere." When Jesus says he has come that we may have LIFE and have it to the full, what does he say before that? "The enemy comes to steal and kill and destroy" (John 10:10). The lives of Americans are being stolen and destroyed, and quite successfully. We're perpetuating the enemy's deceit and theft through the paths we encourage our children to take and the lies we continue to tell ourselves - namely, that comfort and security will bring us the abundant life. They never have and never will.

I have to add one more thing here, along the lines of comfort and security. If God has told you to do something and you haven't obeyed because you "love your family too much," you are flat-out sinning...not to mention missing the abundant life God has for you. Whether you are close to your mother and father and don't want to leave them, or whether you want to "protect" your children by raising them in the United States rather than, say, Uganda, it is still sin if God has tugged your heart elsewhere. We are commanded to love others above ourselves, and we are to honor our father and mother and care for our children - these things are true. But Jesus says very straightforwardly, "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:37). And he means it. Probably when you have said these excuses to fellow Christians in our culture, you have been met with understanding smiles and nods: of course you should feel that way and it is only natural and of course God can't expect you to put your kids in danger. But disobeying God is far worse than taking your kids to Africa.

That said, God certainly does not want you to abandon your family in their time of need. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." If you have a child, it is your top priority to provide for him or her, and if you have elderly parents whose health is failing, likewise. Although there are many who have been called to go and yet stay, there are also some who are itching to change the world but in the process neglect the responsibilities God has already given them. Remember what Jesus says in Luke 16:10: "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Be a faithful steward of what you have now, and trust that if God has given you dreams he will fulfill them in his timing and as your faith grows.

If you do not yet have a family and are waiting to obey God until he provides you with a husband or wife to comfort you, this too is a sin that betrays a lack of faith in the sufficiency and providence of Christ. Luke 16:10 also applies to you. And there is a second part to those two verse at the top that I want you to notice: "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." "...You who dwell in the dust, awake and sing for joy!" When God wakes us up from our safe and comfortable lives and sends us on uneasy journeys that require faith, hope and love that can only come from him, He also shines on us and gives us joy. He provides everything. When I think of the phrase "shine on you," I think of the sun with its warmth, happiness, and comfort. If Christ shines on us, it is as if he turns his face to us in approval, and his blessings come down just like rays from the sun. And when we awake, we then sing for joy because Jesus fills us with such abundant life that we are about to burst with blessing.

So believe his promises, and ask him right now what waking from your sleep and rising from the dead mean for you. You may need to simply notice someone you ignore on the street each day, you may need to change jobs, or you may even need to move your entire family overseas. Are you living the abundant life?

Heaven is My Home

God's been speaking to me about death a lot lately, in funny ways. An article cited below, a song called Prospekt's March by Coldplay, a song by my friend Micah, and a funny book called "All my friends are dead" that you can find in any Urban Outfitters window, to name a few. Either way, death is on its way for all of us, and we never know when it will come. I love that line in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in the Tale of the Three Brothers: "Ignotus then greeted Death as an old friend, and together they departed this world as equals." Is Death really an old friend, and if so, how?

How can the Christian long for heaven and yet be content here? How can I enjoy what God has given me on earth without being adulterous with the world? After all, "Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life" (John 12:25). Am I supposed to hate my life?

I do think many believers have too much of a love affair with the world. It's what keeps us from being absolutely insane for Jesus. However, does Jesus mean we're supposed to mope around and wish we were dead? There are moments when I truly want to forsake this world and be in heaven with Christ, because the world is being unkind to me...but most of the time I enjoy living, even as I realize that the next life will be infinitely better. And I think that's how it's supposed to be.

To avoid having a love affair with the world, we have to learn to see the things we enjoy as tiny glimpses of heaven, not things that are inherently of the world. I think God is teaching me that. It's easy to love the world too much and Christ too little when life is going well. On the flip side, when life is going terribly, it's easy to complain and wonder why we still have to be here and why Christ hasn't rescued us yet. Simplicity is the answer. If we decide we will only love Christ - and I mean only love Christ - then we will naturally adore the things that are of Him (yes, even the material things) and hate the things that are against Him.

Once we are born again, our home becomes elsewhere. It's almost as if we were born in heaven and then sent here for a while, only to return at the end of our lives. Imagine your real-life home, with its comforts and pleasures and delicious smells. Now imagine that you were to go on a trip with a ridiculously important mission for a long time, unable to return home until that mission was completed. The sweetest moments would be the times you were reminded of your home, the place where you can be truly comfortable and completely yourself. I think our moments of joy and satisfaction here on earth are just glimpses of our real home. Of course I mean things like food and laughter...but I even mean more intense things like music and romance and sex. God would not create something on earth that is better than heaven, or that is more satisfying than Him. Nothing could be better than heaven. And that is why when we do finish the race, we can greet death as an old, long-expected friend...no matter when it "interrupts" us on our journey.

"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away." Psalm 39:4 (The man after God's own heart knew that we need this reminder to keep us loving only God and nothing else...for if we love anything else, this reminder will only make us panic and despair. But if we love only Christ, it makes no difference if we live or die.)

However, in the short meantime, I am thankful for every moment of my life. Father gives me so many glimpses of heaven that sometimes I can't hold it in and have to start laughing. If these mere shadows of the joy to come can overwhelm me, I can't even imagine how satisfied my soul will be one day.

As an example, I love my city. While Austin is not my home, Father has given me many people and moments that remind me of my true home. I love "dates with the city," as Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City would say. I don't consider her a role model, but I definitely understand what she means on that one episode when she talks about going on dates with New York City. I have dates with Austin all the time.

I love the trailer food craze for so many reasons. I love local business and family-owned business, and I love how the quaint atmosphere encourages making new friends as you eat, not to mention making friends with the trailer owners themselves. Last night my friend and I got Moroccan food at a trailer called The Flying Carpet. Since my friend is Moroccan, the man who runs the trailer loved talking to her. He was so friendly and laughed a lot, and his wife and son were also there. His son was so cute, running around and playing. We got some of the food on the house, and we continued talking to the family as we waited and ate. It felt like we were in a small town and had known these people for a long time. His wife, who is Mexican, joked that her son is "Moroxican" and was so kind to us. By the way, the food was PERFECT...absolutely delicious.

It was freezing cold outside. As we walked by Guero's, there was a live Mexican band playing with an accordion. There was a nice outdoor heater on the sidewalk, and the cold of course did not affect the line at Amy's Ice Creams. The atmosphere was just beautiful. 

Then we went to a cute place called "Snack Bar" and got hot chocolate. It was delicious, but I'd forgotten to ask for whipped cream. As my friend and I sat there a while talking and watching some weird '80s movie in the background, the waitress brought me another hot chocolate on the house. With whipped cream.

I was so happy. Seriously, count all the little pleasures: the joy of the unexpected, community, unity between cultures, music, delicious food, familial love, warmth, the good kind of cold, generosity...I saw all these truly heavenly things in a simple night outing. Each moment was orchestrated by my Father, just to give me a taste of home.

God created the wonderful things in the material world to point us to heaven. It is not wrong to enjoy them. It is wrong to worship them. As C.S. Lewis writes, "Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."

Right now, life is pretty good. But there will be moments, and have been moments, when I long for my home so much it hurts. Each stage of life is a blessing. The moments of contentment and happiness give us just the tiniest taste of heaven, but the times when the world completely forsakes us provide a beautiful bittersweet joy as we look forward to Christ's return. Some of my most intimate moments with Christ have been when I felt so overcome by pain that I didn't even want to wake up in the morning, but that's when His power was most evident as He carried me through the day. What's amazing is that even in our pain, we can receive glimpses of heaven as He reminds us just how perfect He is.

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'" Revelation 21:1-4

I can't wait until He returns. These glimpses will be ours for eternity.

Inspired by articles on RelevantMagazine.com called "Everyone Wants to Go to Heaven, Just Not Yet" and "A More Materialistic Christmas."