Cleaning out my email inbox and finding all these awesome old newsletters she sent...thought I would share this one too. Good stuff.
How To Forgive the Guy Who is Just Not That Into You
The new comedy He's Just Not That Into You, reminded me of the painful reality of how many women have been hurt by what I call "bozo" guys. I asked a single gal the other day what she thought of the movie, and she said, "Good but painful." She went on to say, "It was painful to watch women who just don't get it." I have been on the war path for years trying to warn single gals about their pursuit of "bozo" guys. Now I realize that I need to teach singles how to forgive the bozo guy who just broke her heart, to forgive the guy who is "just not that into her"-who used up her attention, time and body and then tossed her like a paper cup. This is my new passion with singles.
How do so many wonderful single gals end up hurt by the guy who is just not that into her? The main reason she gets hurt is she breaks the 11th commandment: "Defraud Not Thyself." Countless women actually lead themselves on through the fantasy that this guy who just chatted so charmingly with them for an hour may actually be interested in pursuing a relationship with them. Consider how often women are angry about a particular guy leading their girlfriend on in a dating relationship. Girls and women alike are angered when a guy defrauds a girl by leading her on-often the result of a guy's agenda to merely play at love to get sex.
Yet how often do single woman get angry with their girlfriends who helped feed her own fantasy about "Mr. Right?" Defrauding oneself is such a masochistic crime against a woman's own heart. To defraud one-self is self harm! When a gal meets a wonderful guy, her immediate response needs to be prayer and not text messaging a friend about the "Mr. Right" she thinks she has just met.
Being offended is inevitable as long as you occupy a place on planet earth-but staying offended is a choice.
After realizing the time and energy you have put into a guy who is "just not that into you," you are likely going to be very disappointed. Inevitably, disappointment is followed by anger or depression. Because you know it is not healthy to stay angry, you will actually give yourself a "gift" when you consider forgiving this guy. The gift is your freedom.
Why forgive the guy who is just not that into you? When I don't forgive I become a prisoner to the resentment of being defrauded by him. One needs to forgive this guy for doing what he does best-being human. People assume that "time heals all wounds," but that is actually not true. Without the freeing choice of forgiving that guy, time simply moves the pain below the surface where it will ferment and poison your heart.
The gift of forgiving allows you to let go of hurt and move on with hope, because when you have hope, you are no one's prisoner! Don't be the gal who is held hostage to yesterday as she refuses to let go of unwanted hurt and move on to a new chapter. It's in that forgiving chapter that you have the prospect of a happy ending-the freedom to hope and love again.
This Hope Alert will be archived at www.jackiekendall.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Serving God in Less-than-Ideal Circumstances
I subscribe to Jackie Kendall's newsletter, "Hope Alert." This one really stuck out to me. If you want to subscribe to her, click here: http://www.jackiekendall.com/
What did a wife, palace staffer and a king of Judah have in common? What is the common thread between A.O.A.? Here is a brief glimpse of each one-see if you spot the "holy commonality."
Abigail: wife of a very foolish rich man Nabal. Living with a difficult man became f context of instruction in good judgment for Abigail.
"Thank God for your good sense (good judgment)! Bless you for keeping me from murder and from carrying out vengeance with my own hands." (I Sam. 25:33)
Good sense in this passage spoken by David to Abigail refers to: good judgment developed through experience. Difficult marriage was not wasted on Abigail-she grew in discretion and wisdom-and blessed King David through her good judgment.
Obadiah: his name in Hebrew means: servant of Yahweh-worshiper of Yahweh. Now here is a servant of Yahweh whose job was the head staff member in the palace of evil twin rulers-Ahab & Jezebel.
"Ahab had summoned Obadiah who was in charge of his palace. Obadiah was fully devoted to the LORD - hiding 100 prophets from Jezebel who was trying to slaughter the LORD's servants."(I Kings 18:3,4)
Serving under two evil rulers did not keep Obadiah from being fully devoted to the LORD and even risking his life to protect Yahweh's prophets.
Asa (King of Judah): Asa used good judgment when he inherited the throne of Judah, he did not follow in the footsteps of his evil father but chose to follow his ancestor King David-doing what was right in the eyes of the LORD. King Asa not only rid the land of Judah of idols, he also deposed his own grandmother because she had made a heinous Asherah pole.
"He also removed his grandmother Maacah from being queen mother because she had made an obscene image of Asherah." (I Kings 15:13)
Did Abigail, Obadiah or Asa let their difficult situation keep them from doing what is right in the eyes of the LORD?
Abigail difficult marriage
Obadiah difficult work context
Asa difficult family heritage
Abigail, Obadiah and Asa made good choices even though the context of their lives was not always conducive to their devotion to the LORD. A.O. A. J. Can I add your initial to this list? I just added mine. By God's grace I have not allowed a difficult context to determine whether or not I would obey the LORD.
P.S. I am already praying for my granddaughter Emma that she will grow to be so devoted to the LORD that she would even "depose grandma Kendall" if I ever began to treasure anything or anyone more than Yahweh!
Love to you all,
His wildwoman, Jackie
What Did Abigail, Obadiah and King Asa Have in Common?
A.O.A.
A.O.A.
What did a wife, palace staffer and a king of Judah have in common? What is the common thread between A.O.A.? Here is a brief glimpse of each one-see if you spot the "holy commonality."
Abigail: wife of a very foolish rich man Nabal. Living with a difficult man became f context of instruction in good judgment for Abigail.
"Thank God for your good sense (good judgment)! Bless you for keeping me from murder and from carrying out vengeance with my own hands." (I Sam. 25:33)
Good sense in this passage spoken by David to Abigail refers to: good judgment developed through experience. Difficult marriage was not wasted on Abigail-she grew in discretion and wisdom-and blessed King David through her good judgment.
Obadiah: his name in Hebrew means: servant of Yahweh-worshiper of Yahweh. Now here is a servant of Yahweh whose job was the head staff member in the palace of evil twin rulers-Ahab & Jezebel.
"Ahab had summoned Obadiah who was in charge of his palace. Obadiah was fully devoted to the LORD - hiding 100 prophets from Jezebel who was trying to slaughter the LORD's servants."(I Kings 18:3,4)
Serving under two evil rulers did not keep Obadiah from being fully devoted to the LORD and even risking his life to protect Yahweh's prophets.
Asa (King of Judah): Asa used good judgment when he inherited the throne of Judah, he did not follow in the footsteps of his evil father but chose to follow his ancestor King David-doing what was right in the eyes of the LORD. King Asa not only rid the land of Judah of idols, he also deposed his own grandmother because she had made a heinous Asherah pole.
"He also removed his grandmother Maacah from being queen mother because she had made an obscene image of Asherah." (I Kings 15:13)
Did Abigail, Obadiah or Asa let their difficult situation keep them from doing what is right in the eyes of the LORD?
Abigail difficult marriage
Obadiah difficult work context
Asa difficult family heritage
Abigail, Obadiah and Asa made good choices even though the context of their lives was not always conducive to their devotion to the LORD. A.O. A. J. Can I add your initial to this list? I just added mine. By God's grace I have not allowed a difficult context to determine whether or not I would obey the LORD.
P.S. I am already praying for my granddaughter Emma that she will grow to be so devoted to the LORD that she would even "depose grandma Kendall" if I ever began to treasure anything or anyone more than Yahweh!
Love to you all,
His wildwoman, Jackie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)