Some of my favorite words Jesus spoke: "Only one thing is needed."
There are days when I wake up late and skip class. Then I fully intend to have a beautiful and powerful prayer time before exercising, and that gets interrupted for whatever reason. Perhaps I sit in front of the computer with a cup of coffee and space out. Perhaps I go back to sleep. Then appointments with friends fall through, I honk angrily in traffic, and come back home at the end of the day wondering what I did with that precious time the Lord gave me. I strive to be a "good woman," a good person, but I fail. I may keep up outward appearances, but I still fail.
But I ask for forgiveness, and He gives me more grace. And I get to try again. I get a new day formed for me by the power of the One who raised me from the dead.
Oh how badly I want to find the time to write more, to prepare more for the future, to figure out what exactly it is I want to do with my life (if anyone ever figures that out), to cook more, to learn ukulele, make time for playing piano, make time for praying and worshiping more, go out into the countryside and take photographs, go out to some random place and brave the hot sun so I can meet new people, meet with more and more friends as my time here is short (but they always have exams), at the same time to go take naps in parks more, and I cry out to Father that I want the full life and there simply isn't enough time in each day to cram everything in. I am a classic case of what they call "FOMO (fear of missing out)." (Google it). I am also a classic case of others-depend-on-me-so-I-must-live-up-to-this-standard-and-be-perfect (that's just my term...much less catchy. You're welcome).
But no matter what the world may say, what my striving flesh may say, only one thing is needed.
You are worried about many things, but only one thing is needed.
Wow, Lord, does that even include Proverbs 31? I don't even need to be exactly like her? Businesswoman, homemaker, caretaker, up early, master of many skills, yet loving and gentle and honorable all at the same time?
Only one thing is needed.
Jesus is so scandalously liberating that we are afraid to step into the wide open spaces He has laid out for us. We are so used to telling ourselves we have to be a certain way, have to do so many things, that we forget what pleases His heart most...what pleases our hearts most, what makes us sing. When will we learn to take His grace seriously?
And when will I learn that I am an eternal soul? My time is not short. Though I may leave this country soon, though my life will fly by in the blink of God's eye, I must never feel that I haven't enough time to experience all I'm supposed to experience or do all I'm supposed to do or serve those I'm supposed to serve. My days were written down for me before one of them came to be. He's got a chart for my life and is mapping its progress, and not a day will be outside of His will, His plan. I will do exactly enough. I will see and hear exactly enough (though the fleshly mind never has its fill of seeing and hearing, according to Solomon), I will be exactly enough. And at the end, I will be told, Well done, my good and faithful servant. Come and inherit the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. And that kingdom will never end; it will have a richness and a beauty of which this planet can only offer glimpses...and its wonders will never be exhausted.
Oh how I pray that when that anxiety wells up in my chest, when I feel despair creeping in and smothering my hope, and when I am tempted to worry because everyone else around me is worrying (or because no one else around me is worrying!)...
that I will hear His gentle and powerful words: Only one thing is needed.
